Why Are You Still Pregnant?

“If you’re already 40 weeks, why don’t you just have your doctors induce you? That’s what I did.”

This is the sound advice from the woman behind me in the checkout line at Kroger, who seems utterly confused as to why I choose to carry my pregnancy past its fortieth week.

I mean, I don’t really want to still be pregnant. Really, I’d much rather be one of those women who busts into spontaneous labor around 38 weeks and produces a plump, screaming baby within hours of those first contractions starting. Really, that sounds dreamy.

But that’s not my body. I’m on my fourth pregnancy, and I’ve never delivered earlier than 39 weeks. And that delivery was via c-section that I was scared into having. I’m fairly certain that, had I waited to go into labor on my own, I would have carried my oldest to 42ish weeks.

It seems to be a misconception that pregnancy needs to or must end on or about the 40^th week. This number is not the be all end all of pregnancy. Believe me, I know. Forty weeks is just the average number of weeks at which most babies are born. It is just as safe and common to deliver at 38 or 39 weeks as it is to deliver at 41 or 42 weeks. Forty just seems to be the number of weeks at which doctors encourage patients to induce for a number of reasons… And at this point, most women are done with the pregnant thing anyway, so they are happy to oblige.

This is my favorite pregnancy meme EVER. 

Typically, Caucasians (like me) are statistically the most likely to soar past their due dates. In fact, there have been studies that show that babies of Germanic descent (both my husband and I have significant German lineage) are most likely to be born at 42 or even 43 weeks gestation. I read this early on in my fourth pregnancy. It brought tears. Serious, serious tears.

To be honest though, I feel no need to be induced into labor. Babies can’t hang out in there forever, and as long as my midwives feel that I’m healthy to keep going (i.e., blood pressure is stable, no significant swelling, baby’s heartbeat is where it needs to be), I see no reason to change Mother Nature’s course. After all, I get to choose baby’s name, going home from the hospital outfit, formula, first foods, preschool. Do I need to pick her birthday, too?

I carried my third daughter all the way to 42 weeks and 2 days. She was born the day before Halloween. I can remember walking into a Halloween party on the 28^th with my then 4-year-old daughter, and watching as every head turned to focus on me. “Why are you still here?” seemed to be the question of the hour.

That was Sunday night. Monday afternoon, contractions started. And Wednesday, at 12:01 a.m., I had my third beautiful baby girl. And my first successful vaginal birth after cesarean (my middle daughter was a failed induction and failed VBAC attempt at almost 41 weeks). Patience has never actually been my strong suit, but she was worth every uncomfortable second I had to wait for her. 

With this surrogacy, I long to let baby arrive on his own. As a woman who has been through two c sections, I’d strongly prefer avoiding another. Because I’ve had one successful VBA2C, I’m longing for a second. And I know that my best chance of another successful VBAC is to let labor begin on its own, without medical interventions such as Pitocin.  So… I wait. And wait. And wait. Trust me… This waiting part is not fun.

For the record- I have nothing against c sections. I know full well that, even if I wait to go into labor on my own, that I may end up with another. But as a woman who has been through both kinds of birth experiences, If I can produce the results I want (a vaginal delivery), this is what I prefer to do. Having been through both, I can tell you from experience that one birth isn’t less painful than the other. A vaginal birth is simply much easier to recover from on my end.

I think I’m one of the lucky few who does pregnancy well. Four pregnancies deep, I’ve never once thrown up or even had what most would qualify as morning sickness. Aside from gaining a few more pounds than I would like with each go round, I’ve never had any complications with pregnancy. I wanted three kids, we had three kids. I wanted to be a surrogate, sweet little dude took the first time around. These hips were clearly made for carrying babies. (Don’t ask my husband his opinion on me a pregnant person… I’m not sure he’d paint such a rosy picture…)

The hospital has already scheduled my induction for next Wednesday night, which is the eve of my 42^nd week of pregnancy. Please, please send magic baby dust my way… I want nothing more than this baby to arrive safe and sound this week so he can be whisked off into the arms of his waiting mama J

(Note: This is just my personal opinion regarding my own pregnancies. To all of my friends who chose to induce, for whatever reason, awesome! To all of my friends who had c sections, for whatever reason, cool! The birth experience is different for absolutely every woman but nonetheless magical, no matter how, why or when baby arrives!)